Graphic Conversations

In case you ever see us eating in public, you may want to avoid eavesdropping on our conversations.

The other night, Joe and I took the kids out to dinner. Miles has a tendency to not only talk a lot but he also talks really loud. You can hear his conversations even when you are 200 yards away.

Dinnertime (either at home or shoved in a booth at a local restaurant) is a time for kids and parents to converse about life. My kids tend to have lots and lots of questions... about many different subjects. Since we eat at home most of the time, people aren't aware of what we talk about. It's usually regular stuff... about school, friends, family. Yeah. We talk about family all the time. Just so you know... family members, who read this blog... 

However, the kids decided to save the best conversation for the other night while we ate burritos at Baja Fresh. We talked about bugs. Eating bugs. Which bugs would taste good to eat. Bugs that we do eat that live in the sea -- crabs, lobsters, etc. Gross bugs that reside in jungles... that seem to find their way into cuisines around the world. Incidentally, bug eating is becoming the new "food trend" as of late (MSU hosted a "bug lunch" on Friday). The kids are fascinated by it. But, restaurant patrons sitting around us listening to Miles carry on and on about gooey, icky bugs, were a little grossed out by what they were hearing. Sorry, folks.

In addition to the edible (or not-so-edible) bugs, the conversation also covered human digestion. The kids were quite curious about what sorts of things humans can digest.

Can humans digest paper?
What about plastic?
Metal?
Glass? -- Miles made the connection that glass might cut your insides.

I'm not sure how other parents handle these types of conversations but I'm more than willing to play along. I like encouraging them to think about strange (even gross) things... Not every conversation as to be about hearts and flowers or about family members.

You've been warned. Should you ever have the privilege to eat with us, conversations might not be what you expect.












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I created Monsters.

I have only myself to blame. Well, and Joe, too. And... my parents, because they created me. And... my grandparents (all of them) because they created my parents.

We're all to blame for creating the monsters that are called Caitlynn and Miles. Ok... they aren't really monsters. It's only on Tuesdays that they show their fangs and sharp claws.

You know, I realize that through the magic of genetics and DNA and chromosomes (I'll stop with the biology 101 lecture), that the kids have picked up certain traits of mine. I thought I was special (and maybe I am) but now I see the kids picked up a few of my traits... ones that I thought made me who I am. I thought these were "Marcy only traits."

For those who know me personally, you are going to learn some new things about me. And for those who don't know me (but wish you did) will learn some odd things about that weird chick who complains about her kids or makes them watch the Lawrence Welk Show when they are bad. AND... for those of you who don't really care who I am but find this whole thing just a weeeee bit amusing, will learn that I passed on some frustratingly annoying traits to my kids.

Here we go...

So... At the moment, Miles is sick with a sinus infection. This is his first real sickness that made us take him to the doc. He was keeping everyone awake at night with constant coughing. Yep... it's more than a cold. The doctor, in all her glory, prescribed him antibiotics to cure the infection. Fine. Caitlynn is a champ with antibiotics -- since she's the one who has taken them the most for ear infections. But this isn't Caitlynn we're dealing with. It's Miles. And he's not-so-great about taking medicine. He gags at the taste (grape flavored) of the thick antibiotic liquid that he needs to down 2x per day for 10 whole days. He literally gags (and sometimes partially vomits) at the taste and smell of the medicine. It's so much fun. Anyone want to watch Miles right now? We've got 7 days left of the medicine. Take him. Please. Return him on day 8, hopefully cured.

Where did he get this from? Me. Yep. I'm the one who, as a child, would take an hour to sip 2 tablespoons of Nyquil or any cough medicine. Frustrating? You betcha. I didn't gag like Miles but I did throw little tantrums over medicine. But now I'm an adult and my aversion to medicine has waned. But... when Joe told me to try Miles' medicine to see if he'd (Miles) would like it, I turned my nose up at it and said, "Hell, no, I'm not trying that!" Yeah. I know. I'd probably act like Miles if I was forced to take the medicine, too. Glad I don't have a sinus infection.

Then... there's Caitlynn. Of all the awesome traits I have to offer, she gets the one where she hates her mom washing and brushing her hair. My mom washed and brushed my hair way back when. Every time she did... I cried and threw a fit. "You're hurting me!" "Ouch!" And my mom replied, "Oh calm down. It isn't that bad!" Strangely enough, this sounds like me and Caitlynn. She thinks her head will bleed as I brush out the knots in her hair. I haven't seen blood yet.

I have many other traits to give... awesome ones, like my ability to remember every word to the Guns N Roses song, Sweet Child Of Mine or my gracefulness of constantly stubbing my toes or running into things.

Why couldn't they have gotten these traits? Well... Caitlynn did inherit the Abba gene from me (I happen to like Abba... strange... considering I listen to alternative or classical music all day long). She's obsessed with the movie Mamma Mia and all the music from it. Nope. No Bieber fan here. Abba.

There's hope yet.














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Ideas to ruin snow days for the kids

My kids are lucky. They don't get snow days here in Bozeman, Montana. When it snows, no matter how many inches (24 inches last year in one day), school remains open. It's up to me and Joe to get them to school in a timely manner. It makes life here that much more fun.

You think I'm crazy to say that my kids are lucky not to have snow days. In the rare occasion they would ever get to stay home because a blizzard came to town (and that would have to be one hell of a blizzard by Montana standards), I have a list of ways to entertain the kiddos. Based on this list, I'm sure they would enjoy to spend a fun-filled day home with Joe and I.

• Organize the sock drawer by "small holes," "big holes," and "used to be white."
• Look for that missing puzzle piece.
• Actually search out the location of the Missing Sock Abyss
• Paint the cat's nails bright neon orange 
• Dress up as a snowman and go door to door asking for a cup of hot cocoa and then run away screaming, "I'm melting!"
• Make a mosaic using thumb tacks
• Play "1000 dust bunny pick up"
• Work on long, complicated calculus problems for hours on end. Fun for the whole family!
• Listen to daddy read aloud from Hegel's Phenomenology of Spirit (theology book written a long time ago).
• No TV except to watch Bonanza reruns dubbed in Russian
• Only game they can play is Pong on a small black and white TV

Now, some of these things sound like of fun.

I always wanted to watch Bonanza in Russian.









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