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Sunday, January 23, 2011
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Suggestions for Boredom
Ever notice that in the dead of winter kids go a little stir-crazy? No? Maybe it's just my kids, but good golly almighty, Caitlynn and Miles act like maggots on garbage this time of year. They're everywhere I am and I can't seem to shake them.
You know, we tell them to play outside in the cold, but they don't want to. They want to bother us from the minute they return home from school to the moment their heads hit the pillow. With the help of Joe, I've come up with suggestions to help them kill the boredom and their willingness to swarm around us while we either study, write, or watch old episodes of Lost. It isn't like they don't have entertainment. We have TV and a computer and they have thousands of toys and books.
Since the toys and books are not working, Joe and I are giving the kids suggestions to pass the time:
*The farting contest was an actual suggestion Joe made to the kids. He and I were in our office doing some work (really, we were working and studying) and the kids came barging in to bother us about something urgent (like they just discovered the Moon -- WOW! AMAZING! WE NEED TO NOTIFY NASA!). Joe suggested they leave us alone and go have a farting contest. And... you know what? They actually got excited about it and went into the other room to see who had the most smelly... well... you know.
Caitlynn won.
That's my girl!
See... these suggestions do work but they don't come with a money-back guarantee.
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You know, we tell them to play outside in the cold, but they don't want to. They want to bother us from the minute they return home from school to the moment their heads hit the pillow. With the help of Joe, I've come up with suggestions to help them kill the boredom and their willingness to swarm around us while we either study, write, or watch old episodes of Lost. It isn't like they don't have entertainment. We have TV and a computer and they have thousands of toys and books.
Since the toys and books are not working, Joe and I are giving the kids suggestions to pass the time:
- Go have a farting contest.*
- Go annoy each other in the freezing cold.
- 1000 Thumb Tack pick up.
- 208 Card Pick Up.
- Try to teach Dexter the Cat to use the toilet.
- Gather up all the dust bunnies in the corners and under the sofa and make yourself a pillow.
*The farting contest was an actual suggestion Joe made to the kids. He and I were in our office doing some work (really, we were working and studying) and the kids came barging in to bother us about something urgent (like they just discovered the Moon -- WOW! AMAZING! WE NEED TO NOTIFY NASA!). Joe suggested they leave us alone and go have a farting contest. And... you know what? They actually got excited about it and went into the other room to see who had the most smelly... well... you know.
Caitlynn won.
That's my girl!
See... these suggestions do work but they don't come with a money-back guarantee.
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Thursday, January 20, 2011
Battle Cry of the Sloth Mother
I’m here to admit that I’m a Sloth Mother. With all the talk lately about Tiger Mothers, I think it’s time for Sloth Mothers to speak up.
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I’ve come to realize that while my kids might be smart, they are not geniuses and probably won’t grow up to cure the common cold or AIDS or play a Chopin concerto at Carnegie Hall.
And that’s ok.
I’m not going to force them to spend hours upon hours doing math problems or practicing the piano or violin. With their school, my school, and work, who has the time for that type of devotion?
The things that concern me right now about my kids:
Are they learning what they need to at school? If not, what do I need to do to help them out?
Are they happy?
Do they have friends?
I also want them to be able to explore, learn how to be independent, and how to use their imaginations. I don’t think forcing Caitlynn to work on math for 3 hours at night will help her in these areas. Sure, she would win a few math contests but I’m guessing her creative skills would take a huge plunge. I'm in graduate school and with all the science courses I am taking this semester, I crave a creative outlet and I can see this trait in Caitlynn and Miles. They want to be creative and draw me weird pictures of robots named Steve with chainsaw arms (an actual drawing by Miles).
As a Sloth Mother, I care about my kids and their well being. In their future endeavors I want them to be happy with what they are doing. The last thing I want is for each child to worry about shaming the family for not getting into an Ivy League school. Don’t get me wrong, I want them to go to college (far away from home, preferably), but some state schools are just as good as Ivy League schools. (Love and honor to Miami, a college old and grand…)
To me, success is not measured by the size of a paycheck or the diploma hanging on the wall. It is measured by the amount of joy you have in your life and whether or not you feel fulfilled. If Caitlynn would rather be an archaeologist working in Egypt (something she’s suggested), then I will fully support her decision to accomplish that dream. It’s her life and her path. Not mine.
Lastly, kids need to spend time being kids. Otherwise, they’ll grow up wondering where their childhood went and end up resenting you for it when they get older.
So, yeah, I’m proud to be a Sloth Mother. I'm much more tame. I won't bite your arm off.
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Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Oh No! Don't do that!
I have a habit of eavesdropping on the kids while they are in one room and I'm laying in bed contemplating whether or not I should get up and make them breakfast.
One such morning (a Saturday morning, to be exact), I decided to sleep in and I overheard Miles making threats to Caitlynn, which I then posted to Facebook, because my friends like to hear senseless threats my kids make to one another. And because I thought it was funny. Miles threatened Caitlynn with "I'll give you a paper cut!" Now, I'm not sure the context of the threat. Perhaps it was warranted, like she took all the paper in the house and was threatening him that she'll write on each and every page with nothing but a scribble. Who knows. I was in bed, minding my own business and wondering if Joe had gotten up to make the coffee (he did, btw... such a good husband).
In light of the Paper Cut Threat of 2011, I decided to compile a list of other senseless threats that Miles and Caitlynn can use on each other. Since Caitlynn reads the blog, I'm sure I'll hear these the next time Miles is bothering her.
And perhaps, the biggest threat of all:
If I hear this last one, I'll pretend to be asleep. I don't like to meddle in petty arguments. I can sleep (or pretend sleep) through anything, even 2 kids yelling at each other.
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One such morning (a Saturday morning, to be exact), I decided to sleep in and I overheard Miles making threats to Caitlynn, which I then posted to Facebook, because my friends like to hear senseless threats my kids make to one another. And because I thought it was funny. Miles threatened Caitlynn with "I'll give you a paper cut!" Now, I'm not sure the context of the threat. Perhaps it was warranted, like she took all the paper in the house and was threatening him that she'll write on each and every page with nothing but a scribble. Who knows. I was in bed, minding my own business and wondering if Joe had gotten up to make the coffee (he did, btw... such a good husband).
In light of the Paper Cut Threat of 2011, I decided to compile a list of other senseless threats that Miles and Caitlynn can use on each other. Since Caitlynn reads the blog, I'm sure I'll hear these the next time Miles is bothering her.
If you don't watch out, I'm going to change the channel to Barney.
I'm gonna shock you (with static electricity, not with a stun gun... although... that might be funny).
If you don't stop, I'm going to poke you in the arm!
Watch as I point my finger at you while I talk loudly.
See? I'm pretending to touch you. I'm not really touching you.
Stop or I'm gonna fart in your face!
And perhaps, the biggest threat of all:
I'm gonna tell Mom!
If I hear this last one, I'll pretend to be asleep. I don't like to meddle in petty arguments. I can sleep (or pretend sleep) through anything, even 2 kids yelling at each other.
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Thursday, January 6, 2011
It has started.
Talking on the phone. Liking boys.
Caitlynn has entered the tweens.
I had break this news to Joe gently. He's been waiting for the time to come when his little girl starts growing up, liking boys, and asking to call her friends. Yeah, well... The time is now. Joe needs to prepare himself mentally to deal with a tween girl. Just wait until she actually starts dating (a few years off, thankfully). He told her she's not allowed to date until she's 25. I probably should not have told him stories from my own teen years.
As a mother, do I need to prepare myself for these years of development with my girl? Sort of. I need to brush up on my secret agent skills and subtle interrogation methods -- you know... kind of passive aggressive interrogation. For instance, I ask her questions at random moments to see if I can garner any valuable information about the boy she likes in her class. It's working so far. That's how I figured out she likes a boy. She liked another one but her friend told him (say it with me ladies -- Oh no she din't!). And she has started calling her friends on the phone, which prompted me to make some phone rules. If only her little brother would leave her alone when she's jabbering on and on about so and so.
Right now I cannot depend on Miles to give me any good information. That will come later when he gets older and learns to be a snitch for his mom. The only thing he's good for at the moment is teasing Caitlynn about boys and irritating her when she's talking to her friends. That's what younger siblings do. It's their job.
Now the fun begins!
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Caitlynn has entered the tweens.
I had break this news to Joe gently. He's been waiting for the time to come when his little girl starts growing up, liking boys, and asking to call her friends. Yeah, well... The time is now. Joe needs to prepare himself mentally to deal with a tween girl. Just wait until she actually starts dating (a few years off, thankfully). He told her she's not allowed to date until she's 25. I probably should not have told him stories from my own teen years.
As a mother, do I need to prepare myself for these years of development with my girl? Sort of. I need to brush up on my secret agent skills and subtle interrogation methods -- you know... kind of passive aggressive interrogation. For instance, I ask her questions at random moments to see if I can garner any valuable information about the boy she likes in her class. It's working so far. That's how I figured out she likes a boy. She liked another one but her friend told him (say it with me ladies -- Oh no she din't!). And she has started calling her friends on the phone, which prompted me to make some phone rules. If only her little brother would leave her alone when she's jabbering on and on about so and so.
Right now I cannot depend on Miles to give me any good information. That will come later when he gets older and learns to be a snitch for his mom. The only thing he's good for at the moment is teasing Caitlynn about boys and irritating her when she's talking to her friends. That's what younger siblings do. It's their job.
Now the fun begins!
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