One such morning (a Saturday morning, to be exact), I decided to sleep in and I overheard Miles making threats to Caitlynn, which I then posted to Facebook, because my friends like to hear senseless threats my kids make to one another. And because I thought it was funny. Miles threatened Caitlynn with "I'll give you a paper cut!" Now, I'm not sure the context of the threat. Perhaps it was warranted, like she took all the paper in the house and was threatening him that she'll write on each and every page with nothing but a scribble. Who knows. I was in bed, minding my own business and wondering if Joe had gotten up to make the coffee (he did, btw... such a good husband).
In light of the Paper Cut Threat of 2011, I decided to compile a list of other senseless threats that Miles and Caitlynn can use on each other. Since Caitlynn reads the blog, I'm sure I'll hear these the next time Miles is bothering her.
If you don't watch out, I'm going to change the channel to Barney.
I'm gonna shock you (with static electricity, not with a stun gun... although... that might be funny).
If you don't stop, I'm going to poke you in the arm!
Watch as I point my finger at you while I talk loudly.
See? I'm pretending to touch you. I'm not really touching you.
Stop or I'm gonna fart in your face!
And perhaps, the biggest threat of all:
I'm gonna tell Mom!
If I hear this last one, I'll pretend to be asleep. I don't like to meddle in petty arguments. I can sleep (or pretend sleep) through anything, even 2 kids yelling at each other.
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