Happy Birthday, Miles!

Ah, my boy, Miles, turns 5 today.

Five years, man! Five!

Yesterday was a first for him... he visited the dentist. Now he wants to go back because he had so much fun. I think he has a crush on the dentist and her assistants.

No big celebrations planned -- just a little party for us.

So, Happy Birthday, Monsieur Miles Gaston. May you always be ultra-cool.

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Earth Hour: Family style

Last night we participated in Earth Hour along with millions of other people around the globe. The kids enjoy it because we can light candles and play games by candlelight. The kids rooted for me as I kicked Joe's butt in Gin Rummy.

Below are some pictures. Caitlynn didn't want her picture taken, but Miles couldn't get enough. Notice his face is dirty. That's from homemade brownies. Yeah, Miles usually goes around with a dirty face. I'm not so good at making sure his face is clean. I guess I'm not a mom that gives kids spit baths.

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Happenings in our world

My goodness things are crazy around here. The kids are busy as ever driving us nuts, demanding food be made in an instant (sorry, this isn't McDonalds), and destroying the house.

Over the past week, both kids have lost teeth in a bar brawl. Miles had one too many shots of Jack and was defending the honor of his older sister.

Kidding.

Miles lost his first tooth, a momentous occasion. Caitlynn also lost a couple teeth but instead of putting the teeth under her pillow for the tooth fairy, she just gave me the tooth and asked for her money. I guess she's figured out that the tooth fairy doesn't exist.

Right now, as I write this little post, the kids are having a philosophical discussion about what a "nerd" is. They're watching the first Ghostbusters movie and have correctly identified the nerds in the film. Now, they are making a list of characteristics of nerds, which includes that they talk a lot.

Just wait until they realize their dad is a nerd, i.e., a book loving, theologian nerd. Joe talks a lot too.

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Tattle Tale

Who can I tattle to?

We're on spring break this week and since we plan our vacations for the summer when there's more time and warm weather, we are stuck at home with the kids all week. All flippin week. I'm developing a tick now.

What makes this even more special are the kids running into my office every 5 minutes letting me know what is happening in the TV room.

Caitlynn: Miles is jumping on the futon.

Miles: Caitlynn changed the channel.

Caitlynn: Miles spilled milk.

Miles: Garfield wrote on the wall. (What? Garfield is real? Oh you mean, the stuffed toy, Garfield wrote on the wall. In a sense, you are telling on yourself, Miles. You may want to rethink your tattling tactics.)

But I want to know who I can tattle to. Can I call my dad and say, "Miles said I was old!" Or should I call my oldest brother, Tom, and tell him that the kids wouldn't let me watch "House Hunters" on HGTV? Knowing my dad and brother, I doubt I'll get much sympathy.

However, now that I think about it, this blog serves as my tattling outlet.

I'm going to tattle on the kids:

The kids won't leave me alone while I'm working.

The kids are playing with the cat on my desk.

Dexter (the cat) won't stop attacking the computer.

Miles keeps making a huge mess in the kitchen trying to make himself chocolate milk.

Oh I could go on and on. I just needed to act like the kids for once. Here's one more:

Dad! Miles is chewing with his mouth open!

Ah, I feel better.

Happy St Patrick's Day!

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Sounds I love to hear...

As much as I like quiet time, I never seem to get it unless the kids are asleep in their cages. Beds. I mean beds.

Over the course of our lives we hear many different sounds from screeching sirens to toes tapping lightly to the beat. I’ve collected my favorite sounds and stored them away in my head. When I close my eyes, I go back to a memory and imagine the sound as if it happening. It’s a special gift.

Here's my list. It isn't complete, by any means.

1. The faint sound of tiny waves coming ashore on the Great Lakes, like Lake Erie. During my childhood, my family spent a few weeks of each summer on the lake in a small cottage. My favorite mornings were when I would wake up to see the lake so calm, it looked like glass and little tiny waves coming ashore ever so quietly. whoosh. whoosh. whoosh.
2. Kids laughter. Kids have the best-uninhibited laughs when you tickle them.
3. The sound of snow falling late at night. It can’t be really windy – too much sound. The air has to be still and the snow falling gently around.
4. Chicago noise. I love it. I love the horns honking, people shouting, sirens wailing, and at times, the sounds of the El chugging by. Makes you feel alive.
5. The sound of a crowd cheering in unison. It doesn’t matter where you are – Yankee Stadium or Wembley, it’s all the same excitement. Root, root, root for the home team.
6. Dried autumn leaves crunching under my feet.
7. Food sautéing in a hot pan. (Great smell, too.)
8. The crackle and pop of a wood-burning fire.
9. Shoes walking on concrete or wood floors in the movies (especially older films).
10. The sound of an old-time movie projector spinning the movie reel.
11. The Apple computer start-up sound.
12. Whispering. Who has a secret to share? Whisper it to me. I promise not to tell anyone.
13. The way old telephones ring. My phones sound so electronic. Boring.
14. When you squeeze a properly made loaf of French bread, it cracks. Sign of a good crust.
15. Men with foreign accents. Australian, Irish, Scottish, Eastern European. Yep. Love to hear them speak.
16. “Nothing but net.” The sound of a basketball going through the hoop. Swish.
17. A purring cat laying next to you.
18. Cracking open an egg.
19. The warm up of an orchestra.
20. When playing a record (real vinyl on a real turntable), the sound of it spinning before the song plays. And then you hear:

There you go. I’ll leave you with 20. That’s a good start. Feel free to add to it.

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Tape it shut.

How did tape beat Spiderman out for being the best toy ever?

Tape. You know, the sticky stuff that you use to repair shoes or tie your kids up with. (Come on. Like you’ve never wanted to. We’ve all been there.)

My grandma was big fan of tape – masking tape especially. She used it on everything including handmade embroidered pictures. You could count on the backing to be secured to the frame with masking tape. Because nothing says secure like masking tape. Gotta love grandmas.

But getting back to tape as a toy…

I have to hide all the tape in the house. Around here it’s a hot commodity being sold on the black market. When Joe needs to use some, he comes looking for me in a dark corner.

Psst. You got some of that tape stuff.
Yeah. How much you want?
I need just enough to get me by.
Ok. Here’s an inch. Make good use out of it. I’m nearly out. Don’t tell anyone you saw me with it.
Thanks. Peace out.

You see, if I left the tape out (it doesn’t matter what kind it is – electrical, duct, masking, scotch, blue painter’s tape – it’s all the same to the kids), they would find something to do with it -- hang up a picture, wrap up a “present,” tape their mouths shut, tape their fingers together, or try to tape the cat to the wall (poor Dexter). A simple roll of tape quickly becomes the drug – ahem, toy – of choice for the kids. Hours and hours of fun with tape.

I’m really surprised daycare centers don’t make use of these kinds of cheap “toys.” I feel sorry for Miles when I see him playing every day at school with blocks. And they aren’t just colored blocks. They have letters and numbers on them. What? Where’s the tape? He needs tape! My boy needs to learn how to repair an old picture my grandma made me 20 years ago. Screw numbers and letters. This is real world stuff.

Ah, that’s all right. I’ll fix it myself.

Psst. You got any of that masking tape stuff? The kids found my stash.

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The Family Symphony

Children’s Chorus

Did not
Did too
Did not
Did too
Did not did not did not did not did not did not…
Did too did too did too did too did too did too…

Mama!!
MAAMAMMAAAA!!!!
Caitlynn is hitting me!
Miles hit me first!!
MAAAMMMMAAAAAAA!!!

Stop touching me.
I’m not touching you.
Are too
Are not
Are too
Are not
Are too
Are not
(are too)

Caitlynn says I eat worms!
Miles said pink is ugly!
Caitlynn won’t let me watch cartoons.
Miles is climbing in the couch.
Caitlynn took my markers!
Miles spilled chocolate milk.
Caitlynn kicked me.
Miles bit me.

MAAAAMMMAAAA!!!

Mama’s Chorus

Is there blood?

IS THERE... BLOOD????
Are your limbs still in tact?
Worms taste mighty good.

Yummy!

Lick up the chocolate milk.
Oh wait, clean up the chocolate milk.
Here’s a towel.
Pink is so-so. Not ugly, but it pales in comparison to red. Much more passion.

MILES! MILES! MILES!

Stop climbing on the flippin’ couch!
You break it, you die.
Give me the markers.

Good now I can draw a picture for Daddy.
It’s a lovely scene from today’s adventures with Caitlynn and Miles.

Oh that’s nice.
A little red here.

for blood.
Caitlynn’s arm hanging on by a tendon.
Black eye for Miles.
Mama retreating to the office to escape the insanity of a day off from school.

Effin President’s Day.

Yeesh.

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