Ding dong Santa's dead.

Oh boy. Um. Well. I don't know how to tell you this but...  Miles knows Santa isn't real. Y'all can go home now. Thanks for coming out this year to help keep up the charade. It meant a lot. Have a safe journey home.

Caitlynn has been telling Miles for the past year that I was the one who ate Santa's cookies last Christmas. She saw me put the presents under the tree and eat the cookies. However, no matter how many times she tells him this, he still isn't believing her. Mama couldn't possibly be Santa. Santa's a boy. Mama's a girl!

Then last week, Joe and Miles had "the talk."

No. Not that talk.

The Santa talk.

Joe explained who Santa really was -- a guy named St Nicolas who died a long time ago. So Miles prodded a little more and Joe explained the whole charade to Miles... It's all fake. It's all a ruse. Santa isn't real. It's just a story. That's all.

What did Miles takeaway from all this?

1. Santa is dead.
2. The Santa at the mall is fake and stole the real Santa's clothes after he died.

The other night Miles and I went to a Christmas party and I was curious about how this whole Santa business was going to play out. I told Miles that "Santa" was going to make an appearance that evening. When we got there, Miles kept asking when "fake Santa" was going to show up. When fake Santa finally came in, Miles waited patiently in line to sit on his lap. And he even told "santa" what he wanted for Christmas. Miles played along quite nicely.

I'm glad Miles played along with the whole charade. It would have been rather embarrassing if he had stormed the stage and pointed at Santa while yelling, "Impostor! You're not real! You're fake Santa! You make me sick!"

No, that would not have been embarrassing. That would have been flippin' hilarious.

Now, I wish that would have happened. Maybe I should have coached Miles more. Told him what to do or say to Santa. Pee on his lap! Tell him he's a phony! Pull on his beard. I bet it ain't real!


Yeah, I know. I'm such a great mother.

So, remember... Santa is dead and all the other Santa's are fakes who stole his clothes.

Damn grave robbers!








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