Law and Order

Miles was mad at Caitlynn.

He asked me if he could sue her.

I said, "Of course. You can sue anyone for anything."

Even though I resolved the situation by telling Miles he wouldn't win because he had no grounds for suing and that Caitlynn was well within her right to refuse to help him out, he was still curious about suing people.

I could see the wheels churning in his mind (and probably Caitlynn's) -- sue anyone for anything? That opens up so many possibilities! I can see it now, the kids are going to try suing me for embarrassing them in public or for not cutting the crusts off the sandwich.

Sure they can go ahead and try to sue me. I'm prepared for any legal battles the kids may bring me. I thought about going to law school once and even studied for the LSAT. I'm pretty sure that gives me enough legal know-how for me to represent myself in Gaston Family Court. Plus, I've seen every episode of Law and Order. I know how the system works now. First there's a murder and then the detectives catch the bad guys and then the prosecution takes them to court. Quite simple, really.

Ok... so there won't be any murders here and detectives won't come knocking at our door looking to investigate the crime of the century, "Mama didn't put enough chocolate powder in the chocolate milk." 

Even so, I know the judge quite well. His name is Joe and if he doesn't rule in my favor then there will be consequences. Like... me not cooking for a week. Besides, it was in our marriage vows (almost positive it was)... "I (Joe) shall always side with my wife when the kids sue her for trivial matters, including, but not limited to, singing along with the radio, forgetting to pack their school lunches, or not making the chocolate milk to the exact specifications as described by Caitlynn." Funny thing is, I don't remember saying the same vow for Joe. Sorry, babe. You're on your own if the kids sue you. 

So, yeah. I'll win. In the off chance I lose, I'm paying them with Monopoly money. Heck, I might even throw in a hotel to sweeten the deal.










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