Joe's convinced the kids are stealing money from us. No, no... that is what the bank is doing. Not the kids. They just want us to buy things for them. Lots of things. Every day. Little stuff, mostly. As if having a room full of toys is not enough. They want more.
Both kids are at the right age to start having the "money" talk with them. Well, at least Caitlynn is old enough. Miles can just pretend he understands. Over the course of a child's life, there are a few notable talks kids have with mom and dad -- the money talk, the sex talk, the driving talk, etc. For us, the money talk is a simple discussion to have with Caitlynn.
Sample conversation:
Me: "Um. I don't have the money for that. I'm a full-time student who works part-time."
Caitlynn: "But what about your debit card?"
Me: "That's not the same as a credit card. The debit card is from the checking account."
Caitlynn: "Oh. So, when can we go to the store?"
Me: "In 3 years. I'll be done with school by then."
Caitlynn: "But I can't wait that long."
Me: "Well, you can get a job or sell lots and lots of lemonade. Your choice."
And then Caitlynn grumbles and walks away. Sorry, kid. We're not millionaires. Far from it.
But kids do need to learn the value of money. I'm to the point now where I say to Caitlynn, whenever she asks for something from the American Girl catalog, "Look, I have to work X amount of hours in order to pay for that one item, which costs $X." If you put it into a multiplication story problem, perhaps she'll understand. I think this what teacher like to see -- parents using real world examples to drive home multiplication facts.
However, no matter how many "money talks" you have with the kids, they keep asking us to buy them things and we keep saying "no." How much crap do they really need? Is that Iron Man action figure really going to end the war in Afghanistan? Does it promise that Robert Downey Jr is coming over for dinner? It would be a way cooler toy if it did. I'd probably buy it then.
Most of the time we are fighting a losing battle. Kids are bombarded with TV commercials and online advertising telling them that this toy is the best and that they must have it because everyone else has it. Even stores are in on the trick to get you to spend money on your kids. Target does that clever thing where they put small toys by the checkout. These are the "shut up" toys. You know, these are the toys that are purchased by desperate parents to shut up the crying kid. Unless I'm having an "off" day, I just let the kids cry and scream over the toy I won't buy them. I can tune them out. What kids? Those are not mine. I don't know who Mama is.
Better yet, 99% of the time, I leave the kids at home while I shop at Target. So then it's me crying, screaming, and falling to the floor in a fit of rage about a toy I really want. Then I have drag myself out of the store. Get ahold of yourself, Marcy!
No wonder people look at me funny.
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4 comments:
When I was a kid, the hardest moral challenge for me when I pestered my mom about money was the fact that my friends at school at things I didn't. A desire to belong with your peers, I think, is the worst pressure at that age.
I think the lesson of being unique/independent is the important one here. Being alone strengthens you, allows you to think more about your needs, etc. Erm... wait, this may be a little bit too deep for your kids, right?
Michael -- You're right about peer pressure. I think Caitlynn felt that last year while attending a school where the kids came from more affluent homes. This year, she's in a school with kids in our income bracket, which helps a great deal. She isn't feeling the need to compete as much in regards to having certain toys. However, that doesn't stop her from asking for stuff all the time...
My parents used the "money tree" story. I used it on mine too. Effective: you find the money tree plant it and you can have everything... I think Erick is still out there looking.
AV
AV -- Sorry for the delay w/ comments.
Money tree...I told that to Caitlynn and she asked if we could plant one.
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