What did you get for me?

I go to the store. Alone. No kids. (freakin' awesome)

I come home from the store, bags in tow.

I walk through the door and the first thing I'm asked by Miles is, "What did you get for me?"

Every. Single. Time.

What did you get for me?

I'm a little tired of being asked this. Caitlynn just goes through the bags silently, hoping that I bought some good junk food. Sorry, kid, the store was clear out of gummy bears and Goldfish. Some freak occurrence. The crappy food truck didn't show up. It was help up on I-90 by a group of terrorists. Who knew they liked Goldfish, Yoo-hoo, and Ruffles potato chips? Weird, huh?

While Caitlynn is looking for her daily helping of high fructose corn syrup laden snacks, Miles wants more toys. He thinks I will buy him toys every time I visit the grocery store. Yeah right, kid.

As a parent, I feel it is necessary to lie to your children. No, no, not all the time. Just part of the time. On Tuesdays. Maybe on Saturdays. Definitely on Fridays. Lying is good. Sometimes. Like when I want to get Miles to stop bombarding me with questions when I walk in the door.

Here are some the answers (lies) I'm telling Miles when I get home from the store with nothing but boring food in my bags. Food is so boring. So 1990s.

• Yes, Miles, I got you a big boat. It's outside. Pray for rain. We don't live near a lake or ocean.
• Look what I got you, buddy -- a box of crickets! They were having a huge sale at Petco. 
• Miles, it must be your lucky day, because I came home with your very own -- wait for it -- Chia Pet! Watch it grow! Amazing, really. 
• I got you a can of pepper spray. We live around bears, not to scare you or anything. I just want you to be prepared when you go off by yourself without telling Daddy and I. Bears live here. In Montana. By the playground.

I could go on... I have plenty of more lies (half truths). I'll save them for later.








Free Blog Counter