Tips, please

I'm going to institute a new policy here in the household. If the kids want me to do something for them, like feed them, then they have to start paying me to do so.

What do you want, Caitlynn? You want me to make you a quesadilla? Well, that'll be $5. Pony up.

It sounds harsh, I know, but I'm a little tired of two kids demanding everything. Sure, we enforce the "please" and "thank you" manners but they are still quite demanding. Maybe if they started paying me to do things for them, then they might appreciate the things I do for them just a little bit more. You know, add incentive. If they want money to buy things, then I want money to wipe their butts.

I know, I know, this is what I signed up for when I became a parent. Yada yada yada. Whatever. They were accidents anyway...

What's frustrating is that they don't like the majority of my cooking -- I don't know why. We eat rather well for such a tight food budget. Instead, they want crappy processed foods like Kraft Mac/Cheese (which has gotten orangier -- seriously) and chicken nuggets. If I'm going to act like a short order cook, then I expect some tips in return.

What Miles? You don't like cassoulet? Oh come on! Here's your serving of bug guts for today. Bon appetit! Don't forget to tip your server.

Here's the pricing scheme I'm setting up:
Breakfast -- special order: $5
Lunch -- leftovers: $0
Lunch -- special order: $7
Dinner -- special order and refusing to eat what I make: $15

$5 charge for every toy I pick up
$5 charge for complaining that Joe and I want to watch TV or use the computer
$10 charge for wiping Miles' butt

I don't take Monopoly money. American dollars only please. Well, if all you have are Canadian dollars, that's fine. I may even take a Euro or two.

I think this will go over well. I'm gonna be rich! Caitlynn better increase the prices on the cups of lemonade at her lemonade stand.




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