Just a few ways to screw up your child

More often than not, we as parents constantly second guess ourselves when it comes to parenting. Am I doing the right thing? Is he or she learning right from wrong? Do they know how to change a flat tire? You know, that sort of thing...

I'm one of those moms that isn't too strict but just strict enough to where they listen to me (well, most of the time at least), but I still worry if I'm screwing them up in any way, shape, or form.

To put my mind at ease, I developed a list of ways that will surely screw up your child. If they are babies or toddlers, you still have time to either do or undo some of these things. It's up to you.

• Become a rock star or pop star. Sure, there are rock stars out there with semi-normal children. I'd venture to guess that the boys in U2 and Bon Jovi have kids who are as normal as they can be considering the circumstances. However, think of it this way: Lisa Marie is still Elvis' daughter and will always be compared to him the rest of her life, no matter what she does. The same goes for Madonna's children and Michael Jackson's kids. Incidentally, this can be applied to famous athletes and actors. I'd say that a lot of these kids have some issues to work through. Can you imagine being Michael Jordan's kids?
• Letting your child become an actor in either films or television. Have you see how screwed up these kids get? The two Coreys, Drew Barrymore (before she cleaned herself up), Robert Downey, Jr, Lindsay Lohan. The list goes on and on. Doctor Drew is only one person, people. He can't solve all their problems.
• Work 80 hours per week. If you are single, then by all means work 80 hours per week. Have fun. You go get 'em. But if you have a family, perhaps it's best if you slow it down and work normal hours. Believe it or not but kids actually want to see you at some point during the day.
• Develop a drug or alcohol addiction or abuse your children. If I have to spend time explaining why these things are bad for your children, then there isn't much I can do for you.
• Enter your daughter in beauty pageants. Have you seen these girls? Little Barbie Dolls. As if girls/young women in general don't already have a warped sense of what beauty is. These pageants are what make Little Miss Sunshine all the more funny.
• Telling your child they are the best at everything. C'mon, folks. Your child cannot be the best baseball, basketball, and soccer player in the world. Unless you gave birth to Tiger Woods, Michael Phelps, or Usain Bolt, most likely your child is like the rest of us -- good at only a couple of things and chances are, and they won't be making millions of dollars doing it. We all have a niche in life and we aren't all superstars. Don't inflate their egos to the size of Texas.
• Sending your child to military school. Unless your kid falls into the category of "Worst Child Ever" I highly doubt they need to do a stint in military school, especially during the grade school years.
• Spoiling your child. Why do parents do this? WHY!? They're making it harder on the rest of us because eventually I will have to deal with a person who was spoiled as a child and I'm not going to be very nice about it.
• Being a Helicopter Parent. Please for the rest of us, do not accompany your son or daughter on a job interview or hover over them while they are in college. Let them figure it out for themselves.
• Telling them what to think. It's an amazing thing that we all have -- a brain. We each have our own deep thoughts just like Jack Handey.
• Not listening to what they have to say. Have you ever sat down and actually listened to what your 4-year-old is saying? Miles has a lot to say about all sorts of things. Take a minute and actually listen to your kids. You might learn a thing or two. Just the other day, I learned that fish don't have legs. Who knew?
• Writing a blog about your kids. Wait. Whoa! What? How did that get on here?

This list teams well with an earlier post, New to Parenting.

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