I hate you, Kraft Foods.

What is it exactly that makes my kids want to eat Kraft Mac and Cheese over the home-made version? Is there nicotine in the "cheese" packet? There has to be something addictive in it. I must know what it is. While I'm at it, I'm not happy with Tyson either. My homemade nuggets are not good enough for Miles to eat. Caitlynn didn't care. With enough ketchup she'll eat any type of protein placed on her plate (she's a "meatatarian," from what she tells me). But Miles looks at the homemade nuggets and says they aren't real. WTF? Not real? Are you kidding me? Like the frozen crap in the box is real. Give me a break, Mr. Fussy Pants. It was only last year you were smearing poo all over your body (and face and couch) and now you are sitting here telling me what a real chicken nugget is. Go to your room this instant!

I can cook. I even write about cooking. I also eat my cooking. I tend to like my cooking. Joe likes my cooking (or so he says). Making a transition from giving the kids Mac and Cheese from the box to homemade is one of immense pain. What? You use real cheese to make the sauce? Where's the packet? Where's the addictive substance hiding in the dehydrated "cheese?"

Feeding kids is one frustrating task, as you can see. Miles does like fruit whereas Caitlynn is harder to feed anything from the produce section. I had her doctor lecture her about eating vegetables but it was short-lived. The carrot and ranch thing only lasted a week and even getting her to eat one baby carrot turned into a war. It's one carrot. One flippin' carrot. It isn't even a whole adult carrot, but a baby one drenched in ranch dressing. You won't even taste it.

Somewhere along the way, I must have missed the parenting class that teaches you how to feed your kids. Or it could be that marketing has made my children want the processed foods more than the food I make at home. Yeah, my food doesn't come in flashy packaging and pasta I use isn't shaped like Spongebob or Spiderman. My food must look really boring to them, no matter how fancy I make it. Your cookies aren't made by elves? But I like the cookies made by the little elves. They are so cute.

I hate you, Kraft Foods.

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