I believe I can fly

I need to thank God for not giving my kids super powers.  Can you imagine what it would be like to raise one of people on the TV show "Heroes?"  

What if Miles had the ability to fly?  I'd never see him again.  He'd be flying everywhere and yelling at everyone, "Hey look at me!  I'm flying!!!! This is cool!!" And I'd be outside yelling, "Miles Gaston, get your butt down here right this instant!"  I wonder, though, if he could fly me to the moon.  I've always wanted to go there ever since I saw the first "Wallace and Gromit."

Or if he had the power where he had super speed.  He's fast, but not "super fast."  I already have a tough time keeping up with him now.  I don't even want to think what it would be like if he had actual lightning speed.  I can see it now, Joe comes back from the library and asks, "Where's Miles?" And my reply would be, "Well, he took off about an hour ago.  We just got a call from the police department in Los Angeles letting us know he's there and needs to use the potty. I guess he isn't cooperating. Do we have enough for bail?"  

Then, what if Caitlynn had the ability to create fire?  I guess there wouldn't be a need to hide all the matches.  If she took a shower, would she sizzle?  That'd be odd, huh?  Or if she had the power to read minds.  Now that would be bad.  I don't want anyone reading my mind.  I have secrets.  Deep dark secrets.  I'm sure you do, too.  You wouldn't want Caitlynn around you giggling at what she was hearing.  Plus, she's a tattle-tale.  

So, I'm glad my kids aren't superheroes.  I don't think I could handle it.  It's tough enough dealing with normal kids let alone ones that could do real harm (or good, whichever side they fall on because superheroes are always on a side; they're rarely moderate or independent).  

For the time being, Miles can go on thinking he's Spiderman.  I'll break it to him gently that he doesn't have the ability to climb walls.  That'll be fun.  I like filling the kids with disappointment.