What were you thinking?

I often wonder what our neighbors think of me when they hear me yell, "G**D***it, Miles! What the h*** are you doing?"  We live in a student housing at a seminary.  Most of my neighbors are studying to be pastors.  My husband goes to school with most of them but he's getting his PhD in Theology.  I, obvious to those sharing the same stairwell as us, like to say "G**D***it" quite a bit, especially when Miles has done something really, really bad.  

So, one day a few weeks ago, nearly everyone around our apartment heard me yell at Miles.  They heard the GD phrase, the JC phrase, the "F" word, and the like.  You name it, I said it.  Of course, they don't know why I said these things to my oh, so innocent 3 year old child.  They didn't see what I saw.  The horror.  The ick.  It was too damn gross for words and what I saw caused me to lose it and every expletive I know came out of my mouth.  Miles is smart enough to know these words are bad (well, his sister has educated him quite well) and I have yet to hear him repeat what I say.  Thank goodness.

But what caused me to lose my tongue and go beserk?    Oh, it's a good one, let me tell you.  It was a Saturday and I was home alone watching the kids while Joe had a doctor's appointment.  Caitlynn was minding her own business playing outside.  What a good girl she was that day.  Miles was in the family room watching some cartoons.  Surprisingly enough he wasn't interested in playing outside.  I was in the kitchen washing dishes.  I decided to go check on Miles to see if he needed anything.  I walked in to the family room and saw him standing on the couch.  Poop was smeared all over the couch, on his legs, his hands, and to top it off nicely, on his face.  Yes, poop was smeared all over his face, but luckily not around his eyes.  

I lost it and started scolding him.  He smiled at me, I lost it some more.  I took him by the arm, led him straight to the bathtub, and undressed him.  He had an immediate bath and the couch got scrubbed down.  From my reaction (an the words I yelled), he got the point that smearing poo all over one's face is not a good idea.  In fact wiping poo all over the couch is a bad idea as well.  

He hasn't done it since, thankfully.  Although he does pee on the floor in purpose (the potty training is not going so well), but at least it isn't poop.  Oy.

I have yet to overhear the other moms in the courtyard make comments about my reaction to Mile's poop incident.  But I know they talk. 

I just hope he doesn't think his full name is "G**D***it Miles Gaston."